Before I start with this, I will be warning you guys that this may be a long entry. I have many titles here like, “Who to Blame?“, “Such a Looser“, “Misinterpreted“, “Broke“, “Started Well But Not Ended So Well“. I have so many thoughts in my mind as well and I don’t know if I can rant it all here yeh know? So let’s start with that sweetness, please SCRATCH it. Yeah. You saw it right. I wonder why it happened but it really did happen. I could still remember how happy we were talking with each other the other day. We were laughing and all. And I can still vividly hear his malutong laughters and how I laughed because he sounded like a ngo-ngo because of his colds. How awkward. Should I believe the saying, after the happiness here comes the problems and the like? You probably have the idea on what happened.

Saturday night. He took the Sweetness Meter from Candy’s latest ish. I asked him to take that. And yeah, it turned out that the results were definitely right.

RED, you’re like a lollipop that’s way too sweet! If you’re words and deeds are too candy-coated, you might be taken for granted. Being too loving might give your girl bud the wrong idea, or leave your girlfriend needing space. Pursue your own interests first. You can be a good friend or boyfriend without having to sacrifice your needs. A boy who knows what he wants and works for it gets well-deserved respect.

I’ve underlined and made the texts in bold style for you to have clues. Do I need to say more? I guess so. So here it is, I told him how thankful I am to have a sweet boyfriend like him. And guess what he replied?

Pero minsan, namimisinterpret.

I was a little bit intrigued and I forced him to spill it out but I failed. He didn’t want to. He just said few clues that it’s all about a friend and that he handled it all by himself without telling me because I might get mad. Yeah. I got mad. Why? Because:

• He didn’t tell me about it.
• He didn’t want to talk about it.
• He kept me thinking all night long.
• He would just keep it a secret.

So now, the secret thingy appeared there. I was like,

What the hell? All the while he’s keeping a secret to me when I don’t to him. How unfair. Am I a stranger to him not to tell me? Yes, granted. I might get mad but what made me mad more was the fact that I’m his girlfriend and I have the right to know what the matter is so he should tell me. Would he die if he won’t tell me what’s the b*llsh*t?

I told him not to text me for the coming days. Sunday morning when I got home from church, I received a message from him explaining that thing. And yes, my instinct was definitely right. It turned out that his friend named so bitchy and dramatic Michaela fell for him because of his sweetness to her. Yeah. It hurts yah know? No wonder why I’m still in tears and in pain this very moment. They were close to each other and Michaela is his friend that according to him, because the bitch is a girl, she should be treated right. I never knew that treating a girl right, you should make all these sweetness to her. At least I know now. But the bitch again told him that he’s hurting her. Why? Because Michaela knew, just recently, that he has a girlfriend not to mention all of his classmates already knew that he’s taken since 2005. So the bitch didn’t know that she’s acting like a real flirt or kabit for that matter. And he told me that the bitch was ignoring him since the day she knew that he has girlfriend. And so what? Was that a loss for you because she’s ignoring you now? Damn you! In addition, he also told me that Michaela’s group was mad at him because of what he did to their friend. I mean, they put the blame on him. According to him, it’s annoying but he didn’t care at all. Wtf? Making me such a fool huh? Great! You didn’t care but it’s annoying to you? Huh! Get a grip man. I was very mad and hurt to nth level. As in. Why? Because he let that bitch fall for him and now he’s affected. There are so many ways to treat a girl right and not by being sweet to her to the point that she’s acting like your girlfriend. (Ambisyosa! Malandi!) I told him this:

Ni minsan ba nilimitahan mo yang pagiging sweet mo sa ibang babae? Hindi! Dahil para sayo, basta babae, kahit na sinong babae, kaylangang itrato nang maayos by means of your f*cking sweetness. Oh anong napapala mo ngayon? At anong implication sakin? It made me think that all the girls that you would encounter will have the chance to feel how sweet you are and that they may fall for you anytime. You were not born a candy. Set your limitations. Wala ng distinction samin ni Michaela mo. Sweet ka sakanya, ganun ka rin sakin. Nasan ang girlfriend? Sya at hindi ako. Pwede na ngang mapagkamalang kayo eh dahil sa kasweet-an nyo eh. Hindi naman kase aarte yun ng ganon as if asawa na sya na biglang niloko kung hindi mo pinakitaan ng motibo.

Let me tell you guys that before I had the guts to tell him that, it took me few hours and I cried a lot. I’m so much hurt until now that I can’t decide if I should continue the journey with him or should I take it all by myself without him at my side? I’m still confused. How many more girls will have the chance to feel how sweet he is? How I wish I’m his friend na lang. Kasi yung girlfriend parang masabi na lang? There’s no distinction and importance at all.

But somehow, I’m still thinking if I would pursue the break up or not. Deep inside me I know my life won’t be the same if he’s not with me. But what can I do? I’m fed up. I’m broke. And I don’t know if he can still fix me. I still have these tampos to him because until now I can’t get over with the issues about what he and his exes did.

Bahala na lang?